Square 1.

Earlier this evening, I was sprawled out across the living room couch scrolling through Instagram. As I thumbed through my news feed, I came across a video posted by @ucdavis that read in the caption, "Welcome aggies!" I knew exactly what it meant. I immediately sprung my limp body off the couch and bolted to my room to retrieve my laptop. I logged in to my UC Davis account and clicked on "application status." UC Davis has been my top choice for three years now, when I first thought I wanted to be a veterinarian. It is ranked number two under Cornell University for having the best veterinary science program in the country. Within milliseconds I would know what my future holds. Unfortunately, the future did not hold UC Davis in its hands.

I was rejected. 

My heart sank further and further each time I reread the dreadful line:

I regret that we are unable to offer you admission to UC Davis for fall quarter 2014.

It is truly a perfectionist's nightmare. I nearly pinched myself in hopes that perhaps I would wake up to find an acceptance letter had come in the mail. It was not an easy fact to accept. It still isn't. I was even embarrassed to pass the news on to my parents. I knew they would not be angry at me, in fact my dad's first words were, "Well it sucks to live up there anyway!" (He grew up in Sacramento, so he knows what it's like there). I knew deep down that the only one who would be angry at me, is me. 

Does anyone remember that game Sorry!? Remember how if your opponent landed in the same space as you, you had to move your pawn all the way back to the beginning? That is how I feel currently. I am back to square one. I am back in the What the heck am I going to do with my life? square. The fact that I haven't a single clue where I will be exactly six months from now is terrifying. 

However, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. There was a reason that UC Davis did not accept me. There is a reason the Cal Poly SLO and Sonoma State University did accept me. I have not told anyone this, but for several months now I have been doubting my future as a veterinarian. I love animals, they are and always will be a significant part of my life. But I do not know if that is what I want to do with my life anymore. Perhaps this is a sign that a profession in the veterinary field is not on God's itinerary for me. 

For now, I am still disappointed just by the fact that I was rejected. Like I said, rejection is not easy to accept. I will come around, though. A single letter from a single school does not define me. This goes for both acceptance as well as rejection letters. Like they say, "you win some, you lose some," At least, I think that is what they say. 

This is simply another hurdle thrown onto my path by the big man upstairs. I will overcome this. I will turn this obstacle into a navigating tool to help guide me from square one, to the square I was at previously, all the way to the last square on the game board. It may take me a while to get there, but for now I am on my way. 

Sorry this post was more of a journal entry than anything, but that's what a blog is after all, is it not? I just felt I needed to express my racing thoughts and feelings on paper-- er-- screen, that is. If you actually took the time to read this, you are a saint. Now go eat some pie. After all, it is Pi Day. (March 14/ 3.14)  

Oh, and play a nice game of Sorry! with your family while you're at it. ;)

What obstacles has God thrown you? How did you overcome them?
Do you celebrate Pi Day?